Identity
Identity crisis is hitting me hard lately. I've never really given it much thought, or have been affected by it much. However, it's been bugging me as of late. It isn't that much of a crisis, but it has got me wondering things.
If I were to write a book, I'd be confused about the identity of the characters. I was born Malay, to Malay parents, but I'm not really in touch with the Malay culture that, if the majority of my characters are Malay, I don't think even Malay readers would be able to relate. It's mainly to do with the mindset I have not being culturally Malay. I've had non-Malay friends who'd tell me that, "sometimes, I forget that you're Malay". I try to speak Malay to non-family as much as possible, just so I don't lose touch speaking the language.
If I were to use English names for the characters of this non-existing book, it'll feel weird. Mainly cause I'm anything but Caucasian. Sure, English is the main language here in Singapore, and I do feel most confident with English. However, I'm totally Asian, and using English names just won't sit well with me.
I'd probably be most comfortable writing in a Japanese setting, but it really seems too pretentious for my liking. Although I grew up exposed heavily to the Japanese culture, I'm anything but. Sure, Japanese culture influenced my growth, but I wouldn't say I'm one. As much as I probably will not get a culture shock if I were to move to Japan, the part of me that still eats Prata with my hands, or will bluntly speak my mind disregarding the audience, still makes me more Singaporean-Malay,
So if I were to write a book, it'll probably be entirely fictional, in a fantasy AU, with names that is influenced by several, but not entirely limited to one culture.
It'll probably be something like the Fire Emblem franchise.
If I were to write a book, I'd be confused about the identity of the characters. I was born Malay, to Malay parents, but I'm not really in touch with the Malay culture that, if the majority of my characters are Malay, I don't think even Malay readers would be able to relate. It's mainly to do with the mindset I have not being culturally Malay. I've had non-Malay friends who'd tell me that, "sometimes, I forget that you're Malay". I try to speak Malay to non-family as much as possible, just so I don't lose touch speaking the language.
If I were to use English names for the characters of this non-existing book, it'll feel weird. Mainly cause I'm anything but Caucasian. Sure, English is the main language here in Singapore, and I do feel most confident with English. However, I'm totally Asian, and using English names just won't sit well with me.
I'd probably be most comfortable writing in a Japanese setting, but it really seems too pretentious for my liking. Although I grew up exposed heavily to the Japanese culture, I'm anything but. Sure, Japanese culture influenced my growth, but I wouldn't say I'm one. As much as I probably will not get a culture shock if I were to move to Japan, the part of me that still eats Prata with my hands, or will bluntly speak my mind disregarding the audience, still makes me more Singaporean-Malay,
So if I were to write a book, it'll probably be entirely fictional, in a fantasy AU, with names that is influenced by several, but not entirely limited to one culture.
It'll probably be something like the Fire Emblem franchise.
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